You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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