You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
