There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
