if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
