I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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