dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
