it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize