I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
