two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
