Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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