I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
did i just pee glitter
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
