Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
