i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize