we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
