my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
this will be a night to untag.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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