Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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