I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
