I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
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i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
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Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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