my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
