I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
