The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
