nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
