this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Randomize
