my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
