I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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