Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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