If i come over, it means nothing
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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