I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
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If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
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Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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