I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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