Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
