um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
