There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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