i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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