I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Me too!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
