Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
