Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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