I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
