I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
