i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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