What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
