Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
