She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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