my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
