So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The air taste purple.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
