im about as happy as oj after his trial
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
