I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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