lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
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Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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