her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
