jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
