I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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