Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
