He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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