ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
