I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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