Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
