It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
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I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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