if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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