Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he puts the penis in happiness.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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