everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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