Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
