Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize