The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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