that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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