no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
