God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize