Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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