so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
