It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize