I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
