Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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