I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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